Loving an insecure person can be frustrating. You always feel like you have to offer praise or reassurance. Not only can that be exhausting, but in trying to do what you think is helpful, you might actually be making matters worse.
When people with insecurities hear something good about themselves, they tend to doubt or even dismiss it, as much research shows. This means, quite perplexingly, that hearing positive feedback can often raise their anxieties, because it may clash with the more pessimistic views they hold of themselves.
4/21/2020
5/04/2017
Give people your love
"Don’t give in to a life where you follow the hype,
give people your love, don’t give them your like.
Disconnect from the need to be heard and defined
Go out into the world, leave distractions behind."
give people your love, don’t give them your like.
Disconnect from the need to be heard and defined
Go out into the world, leave distractions behind."
4/11/2017
Does your empathy predict if you would stop and help an injured person?
If you see an injured person by the side of the road, would you stop and help them, or are you more likely to walk on by? What motivates people to do good in such a situation?
A team of psychologists at the University of Cambridge has conducted a social psychology experiment to test the theory that an individual’s level of empathy influences their behaviour. The results of their preliminary study, dubbed “The Trumpington Road Study” and published in the journal Social Neuroscience, suggest that this theory is correct.
A team of psychologists at the University of Cambridge has conducted a social psychology experiment to test the theory that an individual’s level of empathy influences their behaviour. The results of their preliminary study, dubbed “The Trumpington Road Study” and published in the journal Social Neuroscience, suggest that this theory is correct.
3/03/2016
Flowers have powers to change men’s dating prospects, studies suggest
By Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Monmouth University
Whether it is red roses for Valentine’s Day or a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers as a bride walks down the aisle, flowers are inextricably linked with relationships. But can the mere presence of flowers influence relationships, such as affecting dating prospects? Apparently they can, if we are to believe the results of experiments done by Nicolas Guéguen at the University of Southern Brittany.
In the first experiment, Guéguen randomly assigned female participants to watch a video of a male discussing food while participants were either sitting in a room decorated with three vases full of flowers (roses, marigolds, and daisies), or sitting in a room decorated with empty vases. Women who sat in the room with flowers rated the male in the video as sexier and more attractive – and they were more willing to date him.
Whether it is red roses for Valentine’s Day or a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers as a bride walks down the aisle, flowers are inextricably linked with relationships. But can the mere presence of flowers influence relationships, such as affecting dating prospects? Apparently they can, if we are to believe the results of experiments done by Nicolas Guéguen at the University of Southern Brittany.
In the first experiment, Guéguen randomly assigned female participants to watch a video of a male discussing food while participants were either sitting in a room decorated with three vases full of flowers (roses, marigolds, and daisies), or sitting in a room decorated with empty vases. Women who sat in the room with flowers rated the male in the video as sexier and more attractive – and they were more willing to date him.
5/08/2013
Live your dreams - Grow you
If you google "Rick Warren", you'll find lots of advice and wise quotes by him. Really thoughtful stuff. For instance, he reminds us that "relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E
because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves."
12/14/2012
Give time this Christmas
Powerful words, are they not? They make you sit up and think. But it also makes you realize that money or an expensive gift perhaps is not at all on the wish list of some people this Christmas. Perhaps they just want to have a bit of your time. Perhaps just sharing a few words over a cup of coffee or few minutes over the phone.
7/03/2012
When is a compliment not a compliment?
Compliments are not only in verbal form. You also feel complimented by association. For instance, you feel good being part of a certain group or wearing a particular brand of clothing.
Flattery comes in the same way. And as you know, compliments come from the heart but flattery is insincere, tongue-in-cheek, and almost always comes with a hidden motive.
Flattery in verbal form is easy to spot. But what about flattery by association? Have you really thought it through thoroughly about the group or network you associate yourself with? Does it pay you a compliment? Or is it flattery?
Flattery comes in the same way. And as you know, compliments come from the heart but flattery is insincere, tongue-in-cheek, and almost always comes with a hidden motive.
Flattery in verbal form is easy to spot. But what about flattery by association? Have you really thought it through thoroughly about the group or network you associate yourself with? Does it pay you a compliment? Or is it flattery?
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